UK Adoptees

Brit.(~ish) B'Stards

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A Safe Place for Adoptees

Adopted in the UK

This post has been written specifically for inclusion within Weekly Adoption Shout Out #32.

Being as ‘lucky’ as I have been throughout my life, I was fortunate to first arrive on the Internet at uk.religion.pagan; a Usenet Newsgroup comprised not only of pagans, but of intellectual Geeks. It was through these wonderful people that I learned rapidly there is no such thing as “safe” on the Internet. No matter how locked down we may think something is, if it’s on a computer connected to another computer then it’s no longer “safe”.

All that being said, Social Networking now has all sorts of niches for people to more or less ‘hideaway’ in, even if they’re not entirely secure. Adoptees are no exception in finding places to go to meet other adoptees because it is mindbendingly awesome to be able to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t need…

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An update, of sorts

Adopted in the UK

My reply to a question in an adoptee group about our love for animals (or not, as the case may be) garnered the following response from me:

“I’m not a great lover of much of anything tbh.”

It’s true, I’m not. I’m not exactly enthralled by kids, animals’re just like people, I’m fine not having to live with them. Some of the are nice enough, but there’s not many I particularly enjoy spending my days around, too often.

I’ve been reflecting on that initial reply since I wrote it, and it’s true. While I do love my daughter, I do so by default because that’s what moms’re meant to do. It’s certainly not the fawning adoration that some moms inflict on their kids. Yes, I’d probably kill and/or die for her if needed, but that’s because it’s what I as a mom am s’posed to do.

The only person I…

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Mixed messages

4gottenadoptee

going to keep silenceI’m not a trained or qualified social worker, neither do I have any desire to become so. But it came as a little eyebrow raiser when trying to talk with some adoption professionals, my attempts to reach out into this “field of work” were brushed off.

If I was being ingenuous, I could say that my status or lack or it i.e. not being a qualified social worker was a reason not to engage with me.  But that then also leads to a not unreasonable inference that this is an excuse which excuses them from having to consider the idea that an actual transracial adoptee might have something to bring to the table. That a person like me might actually have some merit in the formalised “adoption sector”.

If I was being paranoid I’d say that this is a deliberate ploy to keep adoptees out. To silence the voice of…

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There is also a growing list of support groups, both online and off, accumulating over on the Post Adoption Charity Support page.

Oh, and in case you didn’t already know, May has been claimed as International #ADOPTEE Awareness month. :}

Adopted in the UK

It takes time and luck to get things moving in the right direction, but today I had my first ever real tangible “success”.

One of the things I know helps adoptees is having other adoptees to talk to. It’s part of the reason I make so many “places” for us, or to direct us towards. When I saw Amanda’s post, I couldn’t not make the suggestion.

That the following Twit was posted very shortly after makes all the fighting I’ve done worthwile, because one of the hardest things about getting support groups together IRL is having an appropriate physical location to do it in, but I’ve managed to help make it available to at least some of us.

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Useful post listing information as to what help may be available to adult adoptees in England from their own local authority.

Post Adoption Charity

For many adoptees, their initial contact when attempting to ascertain information about their own adoption may well be through their own area authority. Thus this post lists all links to local authorities ‘adoption help pages’ that I have been able to find through a basic Google web search.

Wikipedia lists 9 regions in England, which are further broken down into counties and districts. It is from the county authorities that I have strived to glean information.

PLEASE NOTE: This post is still in the process of creation as finding the information is not always ‘just’ a ‘simple’ web search. Not only is the information from each authority needed, it is first necessary to establish which area authorities exist.

List of English County Councils obtained from: http://www.politicsresources.net/area/uk/cc.htm

Page title ~ in area

Support for adopted adults ~ in Buckinghamshire
Support for adopters ~ in Cambridgeshire
Support to Adopted Adults and…

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Adoption leading to complications – there’s a rarity! :p

Adopted in the UK

I have, despite my seeming protestations to the contrary on Twitter, been putting off writing somewhat deliberately. Not that I’m particularly convinced I have my writing head back on now, but I need to get a post out about the dangers of blogging for the adoptee, ’cause without it, I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna be able to write another damn thing.

Which reads far more dramatic than intended.

So, these dangers then? Well they’re probably not just limited to adoptee bloggers, to tell the truth. They’re the usual issues of how much of our personal life do we put into our blogging life? However, the adoptee blogger hasn’t just got the usual amount of family members to navigate, but can have double the amount. Being an adoptee in reunion means that not only do I have to balance protecting my afam from any potential fallout my online activities…

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Adopted in the UK

The following’s a direct c’n’p of an email response from myself to “Adoption Czar” <vom> Martin Narey, which occurred as a result of me finally poking him often enough of Twitter to get him to respond. It’s on here because it explains so much of what I’m fighting for, and why.



At some space near in time to 02/10/2012 11:03, Martin Narey swore:

It’s Mx [surname], but please, feel free to call me 7rin[snippage].

Point accepted, however this email address is as old as Gmail (bar a few months), and so it’s not something likely to change in the near future.

I didn’t know you were so limited on the time you’re supposed to spend working on adoption issues, given your (sorry, but it’s appalling) title of Adoption Czar. I did also imagine you would have at least some staff aiding you in your task, however, the nudge on Twitter…

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Adopted in the UK

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate!Sign the petition I’ve created to demonstrate your support:
Allow adult adoptees to be repatriated into THEIR OWN families
@
http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/38120

Be an ADOPTEE advocate, not an adoptION advocate!Responsible department: Ministry of Justice

Adoption, as it currently stands, is irrevocable. However, if adoption equates to child protection (as the Gmt seems to think), then adopted adults should be able to annul, revoke, divorce, or otherwise abort THEIR OWN adoptions, which would naturally result in repatriation of the adult back into THEIR OWN family.

Adults can *choose* to get married, and then *choose* to get divorced. Adults can *choose* to live as their binary opposite gender and get a new “birth certificate” showing this – yet adoptees are forced to remain legally grafted to a family of strangers.

If adoption is truly about child protection, then at 18, the adoption should be able to be terminated by the adoptee if the adoptee so chooses.

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